I have always been a big dreamer. I am an idea person, a long time planner. When I have a vision, I love to set up the plan and watch the moving parts fall into place. For the most part, this grand planning has served me well. For example that kind of planning brought me to New York City at age 22, having been inspired 10 years before by my first trip to Manhattan. I just knew I had to live here, and I set up and moved the parts until it happened. But with many of my grand plans and inspired visions, comes a healthy dose of reality and everyday head-banging. In the past weeks, I have found myself banging my head a little harder than I have in a good long while. See, I'm writing this book. And, it's HARD. I can see it on the shelves, I can see the art direction for the "adapted for screen version". But, I am having a very hard time sitting in the damn chair and getting the darn thing written.
And during these moments of head-banging, self doubt, and stuckness, I start to examine other long term plans that haven't necessarily panned out as I had hoped. Now, I have been extremely blessed with a wonderfully vibrant career and an incredible family. I know this. But the demons are loud, and sometimes they have a way of drowning out all that goodness.
So yesterday, after I dropped my kids off at their respective schools, I came home and logged on to Facebook, where I happened to click on this:
And while I watched it, I wept. I was reminded that the creative practice, like the practice of yoga is meant to happen throughout the noise of life. That it's about committing to showing up with an open heart, and that inspiration is all around. That sometimes when you're avoiding writing your book, you remember that you haven't been plugging into "the Source" on a regular basis. That you have been letting your expectations do the talking, and forgetting to open yourself to what may be a new way in.
And then, I happened upon this quote, from one of my favorite teachers. (Yes, all in the same hour!!!)
And was reminded again, that in order to see these long term goals to fruition, what I really need to do is to show up daily and make space for grace.
And then the demons went quiet, and those stuck parts started moving once again.
Thank you for taking the time to visit my blog. With love and Peace,